Looking at the Bright Side

Some people go through life with such ease. It seems like everything just seems to work out for them. Then there are some people who have to work so hard at everything in their life to get what they want. There are some things in my life that have come easily, but I feel for the most part that I have had to work so hard to get the things that I want. It gets frustrating at times. I look at those people who have a lot of what I want. They are younger than me and things just seem to have come easy to them. Now I know that I am not them, and I don't know what they had to do to get where they are now. They probably have worked hard and gone through a lot to get everything they have, but sometimes it just seems to me like it came easier to them. 

I know I have complained a lot in the past, and even now, but I'm trying my best to look at my life and see how far I have come and just try to appreciate the experiences I have had that have made me who I am today. Sometimes I do feel worthless. I'm 24 and am just starting school. But I just have to look at the positive side of waiting. I know exactly what I want to go to school for. I get more in financial aid because I'm considered an independent. I'm actually excited to go to school now. When I graduated High School I had no desire to keep going to school. So I think everything has worked out the way it was supposed to. 

Working hard for the things I want in life has made me more appreciative. I take more pride in the things I have because they weren't just handed to me. I had to do a lot of stuff on my own because I had 5 other siblings that my parents had to support. I learned to fend for myself at a very young age. I am grateful for that because it taught me a lot of responsibility. I know I still have so much to learn. I am only 24. Still so young and still so much life yet to life. Oh the possibilities of what I can do. 

The hardest thing for me right now is finding the right guy. I have found a lot of "right guys" for me, but I just wasn't right for them. It gets a little frustrating because it makes me feel like I'm not good enough for them. I feel like no matter what I do, or change, it still just wont be good enough. I'm trying my best not to worry about it because I know my time will come and I will find the man of my dreams. It does get hard though when all your friends (who are younger than you) are getting married and they are so happy. I am happy with my life right now. I'm starting school in the Fall. I have a great family. I have great friends. I love my job. But having that special someone really does just make things a lot better. Getting to share things in life with someone is so great. I know that once I do find that special someone, it will be well worth the wait. I do just need to focus on myself, and get some schooling out of the way. Then I think things will just fall in to place. 

With all this being said, my goal is to just look at the bright side of things. In the past I have always lashed out because I was hating my life. I need to learn how to look at these bad experiences in my life and figure out what I can learn from them, and just be positive and grow in to a stronger person, instead of being bitter. Bitterness is not very flattering. Having a smile on your face and a positive attitude is what's flattering. I'm going to keep my head high, and smile. :)